The Complexity Of Compromise
In Never Split the Difference Chris Voss condemns the practice of compromise by pointing out that if you want to wear [color 1] shoes and your partner insists on you wearing [color 2] and you decide to agree on you wearing one of each, even though you technically achieve compromise, none of you achieve satisfaction.
It was without a doubt an effective example to say that compromise often sucks. But I kept thinking how it is necessary to further illuminate the difficulties those wishing to enter a compromise encounter.
I have had a craving to bake something for a while, so picking and choosing a cake mix (don’t judge me) must’ve brought on this analogy — under the working title Bake Sale Wars —
Bake Sale Visitor 1 wants to purchase cake 1;
Bake Sale Visitor 2 wants to purchase cake 1.
They cannot settle for half the cake each — because, let’s say, the legislation prohibits splitting this type of cake (cake 1) between two customers.
As a compromise, they decide to settle on their second choice — cake 2 — which does not have restrictions* on whether or not it can be split.
*To clarify, it’s assumed that all cakes are sold at the same price irrespective of whether or not the law places a set of conditions for the purchase to be allowed.
They each bring their acquired 1/2 of the cake home to their respective families, and it is rather well received. However, it is evident that the compromise required downsizing each family member’s individual piece as a result.
Sidenote: getting to use this Cyrus Rose screenshot has officially made my day.
Combined with the fact that neither managed to obtain their first preference (cake 1), the collective satisfaction rate has suddenly plummeted. In order to remedy the situation, an emergency trip to the 24/7 convenience store can be made. But nothing there is organic…
I can already tell I’m about to wander off into the philosophical, so the scarcity of organic foods is a good place to stop. But I will think back to this example during my next ADR workshop (and will perhaps write a follow-up).
Peace is rarely an option, especially when it comes to business negotiations.
But we can have cake.